Wednesday, 12 March 2014

How to Have Long Distance Relationships and Still be Happy

The thought of getting into a long distance relationship can definitely scare some people, it scared me! BUT YOU HAVE TO STAY POSITIVE. Key. Now, since it's been around 6 months since Oli moved to Portsmouth for university, and I feel there are actually more pros than cons to a long distance relationship and it can certainly strengthen up a relationship if it's with the right person. 
Here's why...
 Patience
Yes you may not get to see your significant other as often as you like, but when you do get to see them after how many weeks, months etc. you've been waiting, boy does it make the time you spend a whole lot more special. You actually value the time you spend together so much more. I do believe absence definitely makes the heart grow fonder. 

Seeing your boyfriend/girlfriend every single day can't be a healthy relationship. (Unless you live with them, then of course that's completely different and you're probably at least 30 and thinking about marriage which is just scary to be honest) but at the ages of 18-19 I think you definitely need your own space to grow as an individual before thinking about getting down to it. Being on top of each other 24/7 (giggity) will, in time only cause problems. 


Trust
Without a doubt one of the key things in a long distance relationship is trust! Saying that, trust is one of the key things in any relationship, distant or not. Without trust the relationship will not function smoothly and will only end up in tears (which, is pretty sad and nobody likes being sad, because thats sad).

Communication
Communication is crucial. If you are not able to see your boyfriend/girlfriend very often you should definitely communicate regularly even it's it's not for long. Me & Oli contact each other every day whether it be through whatsapp, iMessage, phoning each other, Skype/FaceTime (if there was a powercut i'd probably be sad, and nobody likes being sad, because thats sad), which I think helps a lot with the circumstances. Obviously one of you might be busier than the other making it hard to communicate 24/7. Therefore, you should plan when you're going to talk. Try and set a certain time in which you will be both be free from your ridiculously busy schedule of facebook stalking your best mates partner.

On the downside it isn't always happy days. There are days where it can get hard.


Loneliness
Not having him/her to call and say, "hey can you come round, I need to see you" because you've had a shitty day and you need cheering up and a hug is a horrible feeling. Not being be able to comfort him/her if their going through a rough time can get you down too. But don't let these feelings get you down too much. Think of the happy times you spent together. The next time you'll be meeting, it makes it that much sweeter. My best advice would to try and stay as positive as you can... at all times... like, all the time. 

Fears and Insecurities
It's definitely important that you don't let your insecurities/fears take over your mind. "What if he/she finds someone else?" or "what if he/she gets bored?"Thinking like this will only go down hill. Sending an unexpected message every now and then expressing your love/how much your missing your other can make a whole lot of difference. Little things like this count. 

Basically, my main advice would be to stick in there, no matter what, because at the end of the day, it will make the difference when they finally come back, and see you again. It's hard (giggity), but its worth it.

- Molly



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